Whenever I am working with students to develop skills around dealing with anger, we always cover anger safety rules first. I want kids to know that it’s okay to feel angry. All of our feelings are okay! But there are a few things that are NOT okay when we are feeling angry. These are the anger safety rules for kids (and adults!) that we cover in classroom counseling lessons, anger small groups, and individual counseling.
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Anger Safety Rules for Kids
Do Not Hurt Yourself
Body safety is our top priority. Even when we’re feeling angry, we have to keep ourselves safe.
Do Not Hurt Others
Other people’s safety is important too! Even when others are involved in the situation that caused anger, we cannot cause harm to them either. Everyone deserves body safety!
Do Not Damage/Destroy Work or Property
Body safety is most important, but we also have to respect work and property. We can’t damage or destroy property or work when we are feeling angry.
Do Not Use Your Words or Body to Harm
All of these rules are involved in the last point: we can’t use our words or our bodies to cause harm to ourselves, others, or property. This includes physical harm, name-calling, etc.
What can you do instead?
So instead of just telling kids what they can’t do, we also talk about what they can do! This is the majority of our work in group:
- take space alone
- ask for help
- take calming breaths
- release energy/tension in a safe way
- use I statements
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